Since the beginning of the year I felt like an old lady. I don’t think my mind left anything untouched. I’ve been worrying about turning 27 this year and the fact that I’ve done absolutely nothing worthy with my life. I just freaked out! 3 more years and I will be 30. Where did the years go?
The voice in my mind went crazy and just won’t stop. I can’t make it stop. This voice keeps pointing out all my flaws and makes me feel like I am the worst of them all. I don’t know if this is really because I’m just acting silly for getting older, or because I miss the sunny days of spring and summer, or that I really am such a bad person.
I really wish I would stop the whole “comparing myself with others” thing. But I just can’t stop. I really hate the women that at 6 AM are out looking picture perfect with their make up applied perfectly and dressed to impressed, with no mud stains on their shoes while I look like I just crawled out of bed with pillow marks on my face and my boots dirty from walking 10 minutes in the muddy snow till the subway. How do they do it? Why do they do it? Does it matter so much? Why do I care so much about this? Why do I suddenly want to wear skirts and dresses to work? Why do I want to have perfect skin and a body to kill for? Why do I have to be picture perfect?
Why the urgent need to change?
I really hope spring will come sooner because I need more sunshine and more walks in the park to clear my mind from all of the negative thoughts I have.
This cat has more pictures than I have, and he’s only 2 years old. I don’t even think my kids will have so many pictures. Heck, I think I’m over compensating for the fact I don’t have any picture of Snoopy (the dog we had to give away). But I can’t help it, he’s my fuzzball.
Sometimes I think I should expand my kpop list of artists. I’ve recently started randomly browsing YouTube for music and of course I got stuck on kpop. Somehow, I avoided Girls Generation, Wonder Girls, T-ara and any other group that I’m already familiar with.
I ended up with Sistar, Secret, K-Will, Nine Muses and other groups. Kpop is much bigger than I thought and there are a lot of underrated artists that have awesome songs.
Sometimes I miss my old office with my personal computer, where I could play the music I like and just do things at my own pace.
But the thing I miss most is the fact I didn’t work with people.
After a year and a half working in customer service I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter what country you live in, what language you speak or what color your skin is. A**holes are everywhere!
Sometimes when I’m on the phone I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. It’s mindblowing to see how horrible some people would treat you for the slightest inconveniences.
Working with people is not for everyone. You don’t need people skills. You need nerves of steel and the ability to brush things off. I’ve seen bright people change in a matter of weeks. Yet the people who are the most insensitive and fake have no problem handling 8 hours a day, 5 days a week working in customer service.
But there’s a bright side as well. Yes, there is such a thing in customer service! I love my colleagues that try to make my day better. I love the people that call and just share a laugh with you, treat you nice or are patient when it takes a bit longer. I’ve also learned how to handle stressful situations, to be patient with people and just take things as they are without stressing over them.
I do believe this will help me later in life. I’ve come a long way from my anti-social days locked up in a tiny office.
The only reason I am still working in customer service is the need to finish university. If it weren’t for that stupid diploma (which is just a piece of paper that companies ask for as a formality), I wouldn’t have picked this job. I still need to survive 5-6 months and then I will be free. I will be free to pick a different type of job. I know there is no such thing as a perfect job, but I will go for something less stressful and better paid.
I giggled like a schoolgirl after watching this trailer. OMFG, Batman has a son in the new movie! Well, I don’t know what to say, we should’ve seen one this coming. I mean Superman gets a son in Young Justice so why shouldn’t Bruce get a son as well?
We just came back from our mini excursion to Targoviste.
Everyone said that we were crazy to go there since there aren’t many things to see. Well, it was really nice, clean, relaxing and the food was awesome.
It took us 40 minutes to get out of Bucharest (it wasn’t even the rush hour!) and one hour to get to Targoviste. The road was nice and we had no dramas. Well I had a mini drama at a gas station where I got stuck in the bathroom. But after a few minutes pushing and pulling I managed to free myself.
We went to the old ruins and Chindiei Watchtower and we were the only ones there. After months on interacting with so many people, over crowding and traffic in Bucharest, Targoviste was a breath of fresh air. My only complaint is that it started sunny then when we got up on the Chindiei Watchtower it got foggy and we could barely see the view.
I really like mini excursions like this one. But there one downside: the coming back home! It took us 3 hours from Targoviste to Bucharest, one hour on the highway (where we saw an accident), and two hours to enter in Bucharest and get home. It was chaos!
At least we got home safe, that’s what matters. Hopefully I will get my drivers license and this year I will be able to have more trips.
One more day till my vacation. One more work day till vacation. I shall die tomorrow.
16 days! Can you imagine the things that I could do with so much free time one my hands. Well I do, I shall study for university and for my drivers license, slack around in pajamas in the house and just waste time in general.
There are 3 stages that I go through when things don’t go my way:
block the bad things out
scheme my way out.
Believe it or not, it works so well I don’t know if I should feel proud of myself or ashamed. But, at the moment I’m pretty happy that I am set on fixing everything in my life, even if it means scheming my way out of difficult situations. It’s a thing that I’m good at so why give it up.
P.S. I forgot to mention that there is another stage, a minor one, the one where I binge on food till the idea comes to me.