I’ve not been idle

Sorting out my mail, music, photos and my life. And yet, our room is still messy, I’m still lazy and I still don’t have things up to date.

Still, I’ve taken more photos, played more with the photography apps on my phone, I’ve went out with friends and with Johnny, and just took things easy. I am feeling much better than I was a week before.

I do believe the nice weather we’ve been having lately has improved my morale. Also, Marlanu’ has helped a lot. He’s been more affectionate lately and I do love what a good subject he is when it comes to random photography.

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Sunmi – Full Moon

With no chance of the Wonder Girls making a comeback anytime soon, I guess I should be grateful for solo activities. Sunmi just made her comeback with a new album “24 Hours”. Her comeback song “Full Moon”.

For the first time I like a song more than I like the video. It’s very different from her last song, but it’s still as good as “24 Hours”. I also like the fact they kept the barefoot thing. Somehow, I find that Sunmi voice changed from her Wonder Girls days. I guess that has something to do with the change in her singing style.

Snowy winter

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Since the beginning of the year I felt like an old lady. I don’t think my mind left anything untouched. I’ve been worrying about turning 27 this year and the fact that I’ve done absolutely nothing worthy with my life. I just freaked out! 3 more years and I will be 30. Where did the years go?

The voice in my mind went crazy and just won’t stop. I can’t make it stop. This voice keeps pointing out all my flaws and makes me feel like I am the worst of them all. I don’t know if this is really because I’m just acting silly for getting older, or because I miss the sunny days of spring and summer, or that I really am such a bad person.

I really wish I would stop the whole “comparing myself with others” thing. But I just can’t stop. I really hate the women that at 6 AM are out looking picture perfect with their make up applied perfectly and dressed to impressed, with no mud stains on their shoes while I look like I just crawled out of bed with pillow marks on my face and my boots dirty from walking 10 minutes in the muddy snow till the subway. How do they do it? Why do they do it? Does it matter so much? Why do I care so much about this? Why do I suddenly want to wear skirts and dresses to work? Why do I want to have perfect skin and a body to kill for? Why do I have to be picture perfect?

Why the urgent need to change?

I really hope spring will come sooner because I need more sunshine and more walks in the park to clear my mind from all of the negative thoughts I have.