Even if I’m unemployed at the moment, I still don’t get much done. I’ve read 2 books in the last month (Looking for Alaska and The book Thief), I haven’t stitched or knitted at all and barely seen any movies.
I’ve mostly cleaned the house, played Pokemon and watched “Malcolm in the Middle“. Somehow I have no regrets but it doesn’t feel right at all.
You know, when I was working all I could think of was how nice it would be to just stay at home, be provided for and relax. Now, when I have all the time in the world and no work obligations, I feel a bit useless…
There are so many things I want to do and no motivation to do them; it’s freaking amazing how my brain hates me. The funny thing is that in Italy I bought a notebook (it was bloody expensive: 18 €) specially for organizing the next year of my life.
Yet, all I can think of is where can I find the HM to teach my bird Pokemon the move Fly (I’m playing Pokemon Flora Sky on my Android phone, using an Emulator) or how many episodes of MITM should I watch before bedtime.
I need to get my ass moving and take advantage of this freedom.
It’s finally over. I kept my promise and here I am, at home and currently unemployed.
It’s actually my second day of being a “lazy bum”, but I’m still feeling the effects of the night shift and sheer exhaustion. Yesterday I had a full day. I’ve cleaned, washed, had a mini trip to the country side and more housework.
But I did took time to have a bubble bath. It’s been such a long time since I had a bubble bath. Heck, in the last year I only had quick showers. It was so relaxing that once I got of the bath, I just dropped in bed and woke up at 6 AM. Yup, I still need to fix my sleep pattern. I am unable to sleep more than 6 hours per day.
I’m also happy that I had the chance to take some photos with my new phone. Mostly flower pictures, but I am still getting used with my phone.
And, I forgot to mention the Minions. They were fun to have. I was actually considering of leaving them in the yard for my nieces to find them when they visit. But, the weather had not been that great. It rained almost every day so far. I can’t complain much since it hasn’t ruined my vacation. And I didn’t want the Minions to get dirty.
I mean, my vacation has barely started. This weekend, will be going to Fetesti. Next week Marlanu’ will be going to my in-laws where he will stay for 3-4 weeks. On the 7th of August we’re going to Italy and we’ll be back on the 23rd. I think that’s about it for now. I mean, there might be other things to do, but I seriously don’t want to stress too much over them.
I just want to be the laziest bum ever. It’s not that I deserve it, it’s more that I need it. Working with people kinda messes you up.
Since the beginning of the year I felt like an old lady. I don’t think my mind left anything untouched. I’ve been worrying about turning 27 this year and the fact that I’ve done absolutely nothing worthy with my life. I just freaked out! 3 more years and I will be 30. Where did the years go?
The voice in my mind went crazy and just won’t stop. I can’t make it stop. This voice keeps pointing out all my flaws and makes me feel like I am the worst of them all. I don’t know if this is really because I’m just acting silly for getting older, or because I miss the sunny days of spring and summer, or that I really am such a bad person.
I really wish I would stop the whole “comparing myself with others” thing. But I just can’t stop. I really hate the women that at 6 AM are out looking picture perfect with their make up applied perfectly and dressed to impressed, with no mud stains on their shoes while I look like I just crawled out of bed with pillow marks on my face and my boots dirty from walking 10 minutes in the muddy snow till the subway. How do they do it? Why do they do it? Does it matter so much? Why do I care so much about this? Why do I suddenly want to wear skirts and dresses to work? Why do I want to have perfect skin and a body to kill for? Why do I have to be picture perfect?
Why the urgent need to change?
I really hope spring will come sooner because I need more sunshine and more walks in the park to clear my mind from all of the negative thoughts I have.
This cat has more pictures than I have, and he’s only 2 years old. I don’t even think my kids will have so many pictures. Heck, I think I’m over compensating for the fact I don’t have any picture of Snoopy (the dog we had to give away). But I can’t help it, he’s my fuzzball.
Lately, going to work has become a challenge for me. I need to motivate myself. I’m actually giving myself a pep talk each time I go out the door. And it’s sad cause I’m not like that. I enjoy working, doing stuff, being active.
But, work an sometimes get to you and a good vacation is needed. Well, that will not happen this year. I have a mini vacation that I will have to enjoy it and that’s it.
So, for now I am enjoying the sunshine while it lasts, because I’m sure I’ll turn into a grinch at some point.
Oh well, if all fails I can always turn to drinking ginger beer, right?!?
We had the first snow of the season a few days ago. It was quite nice during night time since everything was covered in snow. The morning was disappointing since the snow melted away and it was a depressing sight. That’s why winter in the city will never compare with winter at the country side.
I’m hoping this year I shall have a few days off for the holidays since last year I managed to work on every single holiday possible or known to man. But, I’ll know for sure on Monday. Till then, I shall watch movies (Bollywood, Korean and whatever I have saved on my hard drive) and knit.
Yup, I managed to finish a pink scarf for me. It’s really funny, since its pink as pink can be and all my winter clothes are dark colored. Of course Marlanu’ assisted me, making sure I won’t dare move until I finished the scarf. At least he kept me warm.
I don’t mind that the new scarf doesn’t go with anything, I was just practicing for the real deal: a gift for Johnny. I always wanted to get him something that he will like and appreciate. But I failed miserably each time. So, this year I’m going for handmade, the element of surprise and just enjoying holidays the two of us.
I wonder if I will have time to finish the scarf for John till the 6th of December, in time for St. Nicholas? Something tells me after work I will be staying up just to knit on it.
There are times when staying in seems like heaven and times when being out is just awesome.
This weekend we were outdoors people. We just went to the park, drove around, went to the country side and so on. The only time spent at home was early in the morning enjoying out coffee and late at night watching a movie or just preparing for bed.
We didn’t do much but it felt like a full day. It was fun and relaxing, away from any annoyance we might have in the city (traffic, annoying people and so on). That and we had the chance of playing with our new puppy from the country side.
She is really sweet and funny. She would make a great apartment dog since she’s small and house trained but she’s better of at the country side where she can run and do almost all she wants anytime she wants. That and we have two other dogs there so she’ll always have company.
10 days of freedom! But, freedom is not actually the term for this vacation. I would rather say that these past 10 days have been a test of endurance and patience for the both of us. And yet I cannot complain. We had a good time with friends and family. We traveled the country high and low and I came to the conclusion that vacations can be as tiresome as working non stop.
I’m just tire and it feels good to be home. I missed my bed, I missed my computer and I missed my fat cat!
Yet I don’t regret anything.
We’ll see next year what other crazy road trip we’ll go on, until then enjoy a picture of two cows.