It’s finally over. I kept my promise and here I am, at home and currently unemployed.
It’s actually my second day of being a “lazy bum”, but I’m still feeling the effects of the night shift and sheer exhaustion. Yesterday I had a full day. I’ve cleaned, washed, had a mini trip to the country side and more housework.
But I did took time to have a bubble bath. It’s been such a long time since I had a bubble bath. Heck, in the last year I only had quick showers. It was so relaxing that once I got of the bath, I just dropped in bed and woke up at 6 AM. Yup, I still need to fix my sleep pattern. I am unable to sleep more than 6 hours per day.
I’m also happy that I had the chance to take some photos with my new phone. Mostly flower pictures, but I am still getting used with my phone.
And, I forgot to mention the Minions. They were fun to have. I was actually considering of leaving them in the yard for my nieces to find them when they visit. But, the weather had not been that great. It rained almost every day so far. I can’t complain much since it hasn’t ruined my vacation. And I didn’t want the Minions to get dirty.
I mean, my vacation has barely started. This weekend, will be going to Fetesti. Next week Marlanu’ will be going to my in-laws where he will stay for 3-4 weeks. On the 7th of August we’re going to Italy and we’ll be back on the 23rd. I think that’s about it for now. I mean, there might be other things to do, but I seriously don’t want to stress too much over them.
I just want to be the laziest bum ever. It’s not that I deserve it, it’s more that I need it. Working with people kinda messes you up.
Since the beginning of the year I felt like an old lady. I don’t think my mind left anything untouched. I’ve been worrying about turning 27 this year and the fact that I’ve done absolutely nothing worthy with my life. I just freaked out! 3 more years and I will be 30. Where did the years go?
The voice in my mind went crazy and just won’t stop. I can’t make it stop. This voice keeps pointing out all my flaws and makes me feel like I am the worst of them all. I don’t know if this is really because I’m just acting silly for getting older, or because I miss the sunny days of spring and summer, or that I really am such a bad person.
I really wish I would stop the whole “comparing myself with others” thing. But I just can’t stop. I really hate the women that at 6 AM are out looking picture perfect with their make up applied perfectly and dressed to impressed, with no mud stains on their shoes while I look like I just crawled out of bed with pillow marks on my face and my boots dirty from walking 10 minutes in the muddy snow till the subway. How do they do it? Why do they do it? Does it matter so much? Why do I care so much about this? Why do I suddenly want to wear skirts and dresses to work? Why do I want to have perfect skin and a body to kill for? Why do I have to be picture perfect?
Why the urgent need to change?
I really hope spring will come sooner because I need more sunshine and more walks in the park to clear my mind from all of the negative thoughts I have.
This cat has more pictures than I have, and he’s only 2 years old. I don’t even think my kids will have so many pictures. Heck, I think I’m over compensating for the fact I don’t have any picture of Snoopy (the dog we had to give away). But I can’t help it, he’s my fuzzball.
Lately, going to work has become a challenge for me. I need to motivate myself. I’m actually giving myself a pep talk each time I go out the door. And it’s sad cause I’m not like that. I enjoy working, doing stuff, being active.
But, work an sometimes get to you and a good vacation is needed. Well, that will not happen this year. I have a mini vacation that I will have to enjoy it and that’s it.
So, for now I am enjoying the sunshine while it lasts, because I’m sure I’ll turn into a grinch at some point.
Oh well, if all fails I can always turn to drinking ginger beer, right?!?