I find it sad because Christmas is two days away and I’m still in my “whatever“/”rotten” mood. It’s really sad. I’ll probably go home, do some cleaning, go out to buy gifts (because I’m obligated by tradition not because I want to buy gifts), and just listen to my parents blaming my cat for my niece sickness (she got pneumonia).
I don’t know what’s sadder:
me ending up with no money
having to spend holidays with people I barely know and truthfully I don’t wish to know
arguing all day long that a child cannot get pneumonia from a healthy cat
having to fight for my right to keep a pet
not getting a chance to enjoy the holidays
not having a word to say about the way I’ll be spending my holidays
having to smile throughout the season and pretend to be happy
Yup, this year sucked to the very end. I just can’t say I truly had a happy moment this year. Yet here I am, still trying to make things better, trying to entertain and tell myself that it will get better. That it will all go away and soon things will return to the normal.
Until then, I decided that the best course of action is to put new music on my MP3 player, have some Hayao Miyazaki movies on my hard drive and just try not to have a breakdown. So, to cheer me up (again) I’ll post one of my favorite Christmas songs:
As you know people make a lot of resolutions around this time of the year. Well I’ve been working on my resolution list for two months now.
No! I haven’t gone mad.
You see I’ve been working on it and I managed to separate the wants from the needs and prioritize them. And that’s how I ended up with 3 resolution lists.
I’m still sane. Seriously!
Besides the fact that I actually managed to cross some things off the list (meaning that I completed them) I actually felt good and happy. It gave me hope that 2012 will not be the same. It will be different!
I will make it different.
The first list contains all my aspirations for this blog. Basically all the things that I wanted to do for such a long time but never got to I was too lazy, and some new things as well. This list is actually saved in my blog drafts so I can access it every time I log on.
The second list is my personal list with all the MUST do things. There are only 3 things written on this list and it’s basically the hardest list to complete.
The third and the last list is the list of things I wish to do over the next year and this is the list that I shall post.
Basically, it’s a feel good list. Ever since I started working I really lost track of time and I gave up on enjoying life. I mean, there’s more to life than the weekends. I can do so much more with my afternoons. I actually can’t wait to cross things out after I complete them. So here it is:
This weather is messed up. I’m thinking this white Christmas business isn’t going to happen anytime soon.
And even if my all time wish for Christmas (lots of snow) won’t be happening this year, I’m surprisingly in a good mood. Well, the surprising part is that I’m feeling good when I should be pissed off.
Does this mean I’m more mature in my thinking? I doubt it. I just gave up on actually giving a damn about what comes out of her mouth. I shouldn’t go mental when I’m planning on making some changes in my life.
It’s that simple.
On a brighter note:
I’ve found this awesome Tumblr blog: Studio Ghibli Gifs. As the name says, it’s full of gifs from all the Ghibli movies. It’s an awesome find for fans of Hayao Miyazaki’s work . I’m probably going to use some of the gifs in my future posts, but I wanted to share it.
Yesterday I spent all the afternoon with my best friend. This is a rare get-together since we have such different schedules. The fact that it was pouring didn’t stopped us one bit. We went shopping and out for a small dinner, if you could call having dinner eating fast food on the streets.
I bought a new dress for Christmas. It is probably the nicest thing I bought ever. Simple, elegant yet not to pretentious and I look great in it. I couldn’t have asked for more. I’m sure Johnny will approve once he sees me in it.
Two more days off work and then a week off!
It might not be much but these simple things keep me going.
Can you believe that Christmas is just one week away?
I can’t. I’m just stunned how fast time went. In a way I just can’t wait for this year to be over with, but then I realize that nothing will happen in 2012. Everything will be the same. I guess reality sank in so much that I can’t even enjoy the thought of a fresh new start in 2012.
But who knows, once the holidays start I might have a change of heart.
This weekend was pretty cool. It was cool because I spent it with Johnny and because we went to the I.O.R. Park (or Titan Park).
We got to see the Christmas lights. Johnny got a new hat and we ate buns with sausages, which were really good and much cheaper than the ones in Herastrau Park. We also played air ball, and we tied. I won the first game (10-6) and Johnny won the second game (7-3). It was a good exercise for getting warm, that and drinking hot wine.
At first I wanted to take lots of pictures and post them because this year the Christmas lights are really beautiful. But that didn’t happen. I blame the bitter cold and the fact that I was really not dressed for going out: just one sweater and my autumn jacket. I’m surprised of myself because I’m still healthy, no running nose, no cough, no sneezing. I was expecting to get really sick after freezing my ass off yesterday.
Well the point is the pictures are blurry and it wasn’t intentional, I was just shivering and I couldn’t hold the camera steady.