I am in need of happy thoughts. I need anything and everything that would make me happy.
Long story short, this month has been a disaster at work. I officially give up on trying to make things happen. I have no chance in hell to make it, especially now.
So, why bother.
Oh well..
It’s not like I am going anywhere for the next three months. Might as well enjoy the ride with all its bumps and all that.
Mostly cause I need the money, and second cause I need the money. Yep, I want a big bed for us all to sleep in it. I want to take that Cambridge exam, and even enroll in foreign language courses. I want to buy nice clothes for myself. I want to buy nice clothes for Johnny. I want us to live a comfortable life.
Compared to all my dreams and ambitions (small as they may be), eight hours a day seem insignificant.
After all, how can I be upset when I have my guys at home.
I cannot stay mad when Pluto smiles from every inch of his furry body.
Even on Marlanu’ who always sleeps on my stuff.
Or when I have Johnny that always waits for me at home with little surprises (usually good food, that does the trick after a long day). Having happy thoughts is not hard for me. I am surrounded by so many good things, that it should be a crime to stay upset or worry about anything.
One can never have enough books, even if they are running out of shelving space. I must admit, it is a pain in the ass to clean up the bookcase, considering the amount of dust and animal hair that goes around in this house. Yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am going for two things this year: pay off my debt (4 months to go) and completing my reading challenge (50 books). So far, I am on track with both of them. If all goes well, at the end of the year I will be able to say “I am debt free“, and also that I have cultivated my mind and soul.
While I do own a Kindle, I also listen to audio books and I also love reading the good all fashion way.
I am not prejudiced to any method of devouring the content of a good book. For a while audio books have been the obvious choice for me. Given the amount of work I put in, at my actual workplace and at home. Audio books free up my hands! I can do other things, like cleaning, cooking or even stitching.
Kindle helps me be a hoarder on my laptop, without killing my budget or filling up the house. It saves space, and I never liked a cluttered house.
But there are some books that I would rather own. Not many, but some I just love seeing in my bookcase.
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I am a huge fan of Agatha Christie. If I ever get to visit U.K., most likely I will visit all the places that have connection with her and with Hercule Poirot. It is also my dream to have a book signed by David Suchet. He is the one and only Hercule Poirot! Following this logic, it was only natural for me to freak out when I saw this jewel in Carturesti Carusel:
David Suchet: Poirot and me
I did try to get the English version, but they didn’t have it. I won’t complain, since it was such an unexpected find. I didn’t have the heart to remove the plastic cover. I think that will be done when I start reading it. I am keeping it for our August vacation.
In fact, in the last two months I managed to get my hands on a few volumes that are certainly interesting.
There are more actually, is just they aren’t in the house at the moment. At work, we do borrow from others, but we also lent others our books. This is one of the things that I love about work.
I did read “The girl with all the gifts”. It is the only one I got the chance to finish. In fact it was hard not to finish, since it captivated me so much. It took me just one Saturday. It was a well spent Saturday. I have no regrets about it.
In fact, I am thinking that once I do finish paying off my debt, I could invest in a new bookcase. The one I got from Ikea many years ago is still fine and can hold quite a few volumes of different sizes and shapes. My only problem is that there is no more room in our bedroom, so I will have to set it up in the living room. And yet, I can’t just have one bookcase there. It’s not symmetric enough. So, I will have to settle for two.
I can also use them as storage space, so that’s a win – win situation.
To think positive is hard. Trying to have happy thoughts when everything around you goes wrong, is harder.
Yet, it always good to step back from certain things. For example, it is not alright to overwork yourself, no matter how many things you want to complete, take of the to-do list and so on. I find this counterproductive.
It does no one any good if I am tired, and if I look and act like a total grinch. Which is exactly what is happening at work.
In fact, it is happening to all of us, not just me. We are really being overworked, and in a way it will get worse. So, for today and I am going to skip a meeting which is right in the middle of the day. Meaning, it doesn’t give me enough time to rest for tonight. Not only that there will be another meeting this evening, but I will also work on a shift with a man short.
While I can handle work with a person less on the shift, I cannot handle being tired.
So, here I am with a face mask on my face writing a post and thinking about happy thoughts. Oh, I also did my nails a sparkly blue.
One of those happy thoughts that I mentioned is a 3 day weekend, that will come soon. Then there are the new books that I have, and the new stitching cat project that I am working on. Even the thought of being lazy and not to anything, makes me happy.
Also, my project for next month is on its way. I want a photo album, and I am gonna get one. The hard part is sorting the pictures. I think I will go for a family theme, with all four of us. Yes, I am going to include the fuzzballs as well.
If I would rate my current state of mind and body from 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest, I would probably say tired.
Yep, tired is the best word to describe me at the moment.
The heat isn’t helping either. But, I do enjoy the landscape.
I think I bit off more than I could chew when I decided to apply for a higher position. It is too much and I don’t have enough time to assimilate everything. I guess you could say I am overwhelmed. I don’t like to admit this, but its true. Now, I am not one to shy away from work. I enjoy working, but I don’t like it when it changes me.
Being tired makes me very touchy feeling. You could say that I feel that everyone and everything is working against me. Yet, that’s not true. A lot of people have helped, as much as they could, to get me through this period. I am really grateful to them.
So, I am determined to stop being a grinch and get back on track. So, I will get back to my resolution: no more complaining.
On a happy note, I would like to mention that I really like my new position. I like the fact that I get to learn new things and it puts things in perspective. I get to see things from the other side and realize that things are not always as they seem. With that, I do feel bad for the previous owners of this position.
Will, I quit? I don’t think so. Not yet, anyway. When the time comes to move on, I will know.
~~~Quick update on our life~~~
we went to the country side, at my parents house, just to have lunch;
we went to Fetesti, for a weekend! It was refreshing and it has been such a long time since we paid a visit;
we went to the cinema for free since Johnny won two tickets at “Now you see me 2”;
we went to Bookfest, where I got three lovely books about cat warriors. YES. I bought books for children.
made a new friend which works at a publishing company and she provides me with books! We wouldn’t have had the chance to meet her if it weren’t for Pluto. Owning a dog ROCKS!
had a lovely workshop (work related stuff), meet new people. Realized that our entire company is made out of crazy people.
got new clothes;
paid half of my debt. It took me 4 months to do this, and it will take another 4 to pay it in full. Overtime is my new best friend at work.
August is right around the corner and that means Vacation for both of us.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to good things. I might be tired, but in a way I am happy. I am tired because I work and I do things that make me happy.
And no matter how tired I am, I will always have time and patience to take photos of the moments that make my life great.
At last, we had a much needed break from the city!
It’s been a hectic period for us. I still can’t believe that almost half a year is gone. Time really flies when you run around, trying to get things done. You would think that waking up early and going to bed late at night, would offer you plenty of time to do as many things as possible. Well, it doesn’t work like that.
It has been one month since I went from the night shift to the morning shift. Two weeks since I got promoted (still deciding if it was worth it or not), and a very long time since we went out, just the two of us.
We even left the dog at home.
Sure, we went out to the movies (Deadpool was the last one we saw at the cinema), we went out with friends; but it’s been a very long time since it was just the two of us.
The best part of this specific break from the city, was that Johnny decided on the location. He never decides on the location. He just lets me pick a random place and goes along with it. Today it was his pick and it was a beautiful one.
It wasn’t very far from Bucharest, just half an hour away by car. It wasn’t crowded, the food was great and I got the chance to feed two ostriches.
It was fun and relaxing. It was a breath of fresh air after all that has been going on in our lives.
It was a productive weekend. I slept one day and the other one I was a busy body. I have managed to clean the house (finally!), cook (it’s been a while) and even wash half of the dirty clothes.
Doing stuff always helps me relax and put my mind at ease. Being productive is a good thing for me. I even had the time to watch a Bollywood movie and start the second one! That is a rare occurrence these days.
For a brief moment I felt the good old days. I really do miss having no responsibilities.
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Of course I had to wake up in the middle of the night. The furry ones wouldn’t have it any other way. Why sleep for more than 6 hours at a time? And the best part of this is how they (Pluto & Marlanu’) went back to sleep. They had their way with me – one wanted a walk outside to pee and the other wanted food – and now, they left me all alone in the loving room.
It’s just me and my computer.
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The new shifts for work have been handed out. There is just one night shift that starts at 11 PM. Till now, there were 2 of them. It’s not a good omen. Yet, I am not sure if I should go for the morning shift or try the same old shift I had till now. While the morning shift is really attractive, it also pays a lot less. I hate taking decisions, especially when I am tired.
I shall have to wait till tonight, when I’ll start my shift to see exactly what are my chances at getting what I want (if I can decide till then).
Until then, I plan on cleaning my poor PC and figuring out what I can do in order to make things better. Or at least to make things like they used to be: simple and fun.
I miss mornings. I miss waking up in the morning, making coffee and enjoying the sunrise. It feels so weird when I wake up at 1 AM, when everybody is asleep and outside is pitch black.
Yesterday was Saturday for me (I know it was Wednesday), and I slept from 6 AM (an hour after I finished work) till 1 AM. I just couldn’t get out of bed. I was dead tired and the bed was the best place in the whole world to be in. And here I am in front of the computer, trying to be as quiet as a mouse. I’m trying not to wake up John and in a way to be productive (which is impossible at this hour).
I am grateful that I have sleeping buddies. They keep me company all the time, everywhere..
It can be in bed:
Or, when I am at the computer:
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The results for the new position at work came back. It was as expected, I didn’t get it. Truthfully, I was hopeful of my chances. That until I found out there was one more person who applied. It was all hushed up, and it was by mistake we (all who applied for it) found out. If we knew, we wouldn’t have bothered applying for it.
Soon, a new position will be opened at work. I’m still unsure if I should go for it or not. The job itself pays much better, but its one of those jobs that doesn’t give you much time for yourself, or for anything else if I think about it.
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Other than that, nothing has changed. I’m still on the night shift, John still works a lot during the day. The furies are doing good, no problems there. You could say, we are stuck in one nice routine. It’s annoying.
Did I mention that the weather is turning warmer? That is one of the good things. I was getting sick and tired of wearing boots and winter jackets.
In a way I was waiting for the nice weather. That means I can walk home from work, and actually enjoy myself. I have a lot of parks on the way home. Usually they are all empty in the morning. I could take Pluto for a walk. When Pluto was a pup, I used to take him on very long walks each morning. They were the best.
We’ve been having some rainy days lately. I really can’t complain since they have their charm as well. That, and I always sleep better when it rains outside.
The last 2 weeks have been hectic enough for us. For me, long hours at work and just a lot of running around to get things done and for John has more responsibility at work. It is tiresome. I really have no idea how others manage their time so well. For us, it seems like we’re always running. And yet, with all the running around things don’t seem to get done.
I guess the term rainy days could be used to determine our current situation, not just the weather.
I am currently trying to keep my mind busy and not think of 2 things. One, which will give us a headache for the next 6-7 months (if we’re lucky, it won’t take longer) and the other which might improve something in this whole work equation.
Long story short, I applied for a better position at work. While I am pretty happy with my overall performance, I am cannot guarantee that I will get it. I haven’t forgotten how disappointed I felt last time when I had to much confidence in myself. That and others have applied for the position. There isn’t anyone who wouldn’t deserve it. So, until next week we all have to wait for the results.
“Optimism is the foundation of courage”
Hopefully, I had enough courage to give out my best during these rainy days.
I think I appreciate seasons now more then when I was young. In my youth summer had its rightful place because of the long summer vacation. I now believe spring is by far more important.
We live in a city where parks are scarce and few, where the color gray is constant and tiresome. Winter in the city will always be gloomy. Even when it snows you can’t really enjoy it. The snow will soon become dirty from all the cars and traffic, or it will just melt away leaving dirty puddles everywhere.
Spring makes the city come to life.
In just two weeks the trees have bloomed! We had amazing weather and I felt like my batteries were recharged. I have made it my personal goal to go the park or to the country side each weekend, if the weather allows us. I don’t care that I work during the weekends (night shift). I know I won’t feel as tired as I would be if I would just sleep all day.
I just want to bask in the sunlight!
I have missed the sun. I have missed seeing colors (mostly green). I have missed being out of the house. I am so happy we have a dog! I now have the perfect reason to take John out of the house. He wasn’t a fan of parks before, but now he jumps on the opportunity to tire Pluto (the dog has a lot of energy). Because I plan on saving money as well, going to the park is the perfect solution for an outing. You can even make a picnic, play board games, card games, chit chat and just relax.
Spring might be short, but I plan on making the most of it.
I’m currently looking for a cross stitch pattern. I am looking for something simple and cute. This was supposed to be something easy and quick. Well, there are a lot of simple and cute patterns out there. The hard part is choosing just one to stitch.
To sew.. or not to sew?
I think most stitchers out there have the same problem as I do: to sew.. or not to sew?
There are so many patterns out there that is really hard to pick just a few. Considering stitching is a time consuming hobby (it can take from one week, to a couple of months and up to years to finish one project), it’s very hard to decide what will be the next project.
I find it difficult to actually finish my current projects. Hence, I try to vary between large projects (needlepoint projects that will take more than a year to finish) and small projects (mostly cross stitch patterns that can be found for free online). And yet, I cannot fight the urge of buying or downloading new patterns.
There are so many patterns out there. I want them all. It feels like Pokemon. You start off with 150, and then realize that there are more and more as each year passes.
Should I go with a cat, dog, owl, or that cute mouse? Maybe a landscape, or a bookmark? Or, how about some Adventure Time? Why not Harry Potter?
This is such a drag. At this rate I won’t get the chance to do anything. I hope I will make up my mind till morning comes. I want to take advantage of this weekend and actually do nothing productive with my time. I just want to chill, while listening to audio books and let my hands work on a new project. That sounds just perfect to me.
~~~UPDATE~~~
Still searching. This is becoming a real struggle.
