And here we are, with less than two months till the end of year. This year has been full of ups and downs, some more memorable than others.

I can say truthfully, that I now know why some people end up being grumpy and hating humanity.

It isn’t about hardships or bad situations, it is about human interaction. 

I truthfully hate corporations, and if I wouldn’t need to work to be able to just exist and buy food and clothes, I would probably hide somewhere remote. I had some lovely interactions with the HR department lately. Been told that our manager feels threatened by some of my actions and e-mails (apparently asking for some courses for which I will pay with my own money and fair distribution of workload is a no no). That, and also to stop doing the workload of my manager cause if she is not able to handle it, it’s on her. 

I wonder how many people have heard this kind of bullshit?! 

If the work doesn’t get done, the managers are the last to be held responsible. I think this is universally valid. 

But, on the upper side, I am that good that my simple suggestions and work results are enough to make a manager feel threatened. I didn’t knew I was that good *end sarcasm*.

Also universally true is that we are all replaceable. This I’ve told them many times (not as a threat) but as a valid truth that I am also replaceable. Therefor, pressure is being to put on me to update documentation. Oh well, since the workload issue was not resolved I am sure I can also take my time with the documentation.

Plus, if I’m the only one that knows the processes, I can write whatever I want. How will they know if it is good or not? 

Sometimes, managers and HR should think what are the risks before pissing people of. I mean, sure, we can always be fired. But, what do they do when one person knows sensitive information that no one else knows? How do you tackle this issue, and make sure that the information is held within the company? In case of someone being fired or quitting? 

I am just asking.

I know what I know, and some information will be passed to one of my replacements (been teaching her since February, and she is a good person; I will not do anything to make her life a misery). But, what about the other part, where my so called colleague likes to yell at us during meetings and the manager does nothing (and always takes her side no matter how much proof we bring to show the contrary)? 

Oh well, it sure would be a pity if something bad happened.

No, I am not being fired. They want to keep me, but want me to keep my mouth shut and allow being (ab)used by my colleague. Everything not to upset the poor woman. Did I mention that this so called colleague is a vegan and anti-vaxxer? Yep, two scares so far from work, where we all had to go to the hospital and do tests, just to be sure we don’t get some disease from her child. No fucks were given by the management towards our health.

I already updated my CV. Well not updated, I’ve done it from scratch. The end result being awesome. I’ve reached out to my contacts and the search has begun. I know it is a bad period for hiring, being just before the winter holidays. But, it is never to early to start.

I am also proud of myself for not quitting directly. I promised to myself that I will not let myself take a decision when I am mad. So far so good. 

At first, I got that anxiety feeling of what if I am unable to find work somewhere else. But, then I realized that it is just my brain being an asshole. I have 12+ years of work experience. I have feedback from different countries and certifications. I want to learn stuff. I am good. 

I just the patience of a saint, and to temper myself into doing something rash. *fingers crossed*