28 November, 2016

Another weekend bites the dust

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I can barely bring myself to type after this weekend. My hands are refusing to work as they normally should.

It is not pain that I feel, but numbness. My fingers are numb and tingly. Two days in a row of constant typing. I never want to do this again.

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This is Friday for me. I have one more night shift and then I will be able to enjoy my during the week weekend. I have no idea what I will do with my free days. My mind is telling me that a cleaning would be the best option, as the house is not looking so well. Yet, my entire body is yelling that sleep and slacking around would be best.

It is a tough decision.

I really envy Pluto and Marlanu’ in these cases. They have no moral dilemmas of their own. They just sleep, eat, play around and some more sleep.

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I can’t wait for December to come. I also want snow and pretty things to shine and sparkle on the streets. The mood for this weather is gloomy and sad. We could really use some cheering up. 

That and more sleep. In fact, I will add this to my 2017 list: Get more rest / sleep. 

Yes. There will be a 2017 list. I am not sure what the list will contain, but I will make one. I will make a lovely and achievable list for next year. Which, I hope I won’t have to start off by working. Chances for that to happen: 80%. 

We shall live and see.

24 November, 2016

Blabber

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It is starting to get colder. 

In a way, I wish it would snow already. Yet the more practical side of me doesn’t want it. Not now.

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I have a lot of nice memories with a winter background. I want to make many more. 

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I have about three hours before I go to work.

I dislike the afternoon shift. It is not because the work volume is bigger than on any other shift, but because of all the people that are in the office. I hate having to smile and say hello to everyone. I dislike most of them because they make our job more miserable than it already is.  

I am not good at hiding my emotions either. 

So, I just pass by with my head down. Or, I pick the hours when I know no one is around. 

Even so, my biggest dislike sits right behind me. I cannot hide from that. 

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I am thinking of starting a new list for December.

It will contain mostly things that need to be done (like house chores). It will be a good distraction for me (from my job and anything else that might be a downer). In a way it will help me sort things out in the house as well. 

It has been a while since I cleaned and organized things. I think that it would also be a lot of fun. Losing myself in the process, and even listening to a good audio book while I work away. 

I must pick a weekend when I am home alone and a good audio book. This way no one will bother or distract me.

23 November, 2016

Random afternoon thoughts

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It is funny how the end of the year keeps getting closer. It feels like just a few days ago it was summer, and I was waiting for autumn to come. 

I can honestly say, I haven’t felt the last couple of months. Everything feels like a blur or work and sleepless nights. In fact, the next period will carry on in the same manner. I am trying to come to terms that the winter holidays are coming soon, and I might not get the chance to enjoy them. In fact, I should be making plans on how to make my holidays more enjoyable at work.

But then again, the holidays will come and go just like the rest of it all. The lack of plans and effort seems like the best way to go.

While work might’ve occupied most of my time and thoughts, I have made time to read and stitch. I made amazing progress with one of my stitching projects. It still has a long way to go before it will be finished, but it will be finished. Slowly, but surely. Just like everything else that has happened this year.

After 5 years I have completed my reading challenge. Not only that, but I exceeded it and still have plenty of time to spare till the end of the year. In a way, reading has been a great comfort to me. It has provided a good reason to interact with my colleagues (a safe topic of discussion that cannot be used against me). It has also been a refuge from the constant nagging in the back of my head that I am not in the best of places (as far as work is concerned). 

I have read so many wonderful books this year! 

It makes me feel sad that I didn’t think to try new things sooner. I have learned that I enjoy fantasy a great deal, that adventures that take place on hundreds of pages are the most amazing, and that books can influence so much one’s state of mind. In a way, books have been a lifesaver for me. They kept me sane, with so many things going on. 

Well, I can’t say it has been such a horrible year. After all, I accomplished more (in terms of importance) this year than any before. For me, that speaks volumes. When the new year comes, I can truly say that it will be a fresh start. I will not have any luggage from the past to hold me down. 

That is a comforting and happy thought. 

I’ve worked hard this year to fix all past mistakes, next year I should work hard on building up a good base for our future. 

 

25 September, 2016

Just Autumn Things

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September is coming to an end, slowly but surely. The days are getting shorter, while the nights are getting longer.

Thinking about it makes me nostalgic. I keep remembering moments from years ago..

Truthfully, I don’t remember last autumn and winter. We were so busy that I don’t have any memories of what happened. I know that Christmas was cute and that we had a tree in our house; that New Years was short and spent with friends. But, my memories stop there.

I don’t remember what I did with the rest of my time? Did I have fun? Or, was I so consumed in what I was doing (work most likely) that everything else just faded away?

I feel robbed.

I am sure that things will be hectic this year as well. We have so many projects and tasks to complete, and time is just slipping away. Yet, I am able to enjoy sweet simple moments. For example, drinking tea while eating homemade strawberry jam, while reading and cuddling with Marlanu’.

Marlanu' loves to cuddle

I miss cooking as well. I don’t know why, but autumn is the best season to cook. It might be me, but the food tastes better (especially homemade food).

I have a lot of things planned out for the next few weeks. I am hoping that I won’t lose my motivation along the way. There will be homemade food. There will be moments to enjoy. I will make sure to enjoy them all as they come. Sounds like a responsibility, but it’s more like a reminder of sort.

23 September, 2016

Autumn Stitching

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True to my word, I stitched these last couple of days. I just didn’t want to do anything else.

I even picked a nice theme (from my goodies basket): Autumn Landscape. It goes with the weather!

Autumn Stitching

It is a big project, but the fact it has large parts to stitch with just one color helps. I think that’s why I was able to stitch so much. I missed it. I am amazed how I could go an entire summer without picking up the thread and needle. I will not say when I will finish it. I always do that and I never finish them. Well, I finish them in a couple of years. There is no rush when stitching, especially if you stitch for yourself.

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Thinking about it, there are a lot of things we haven’t done this summer. We didn’t go to the sea side. We didn’t go out as much as before. Considering everything that went on, it is more than justified that we focused on other things.

I am also waiting for October for one good reason. It will be the last month to pay off whatever I have left to pay. I will be debt free and I will be able to enjoy my entire paycheck. 15 days to be more precise. I just can’t wait to get it over with. Enjoy is not the best word. There are other things that we need to take care of as well.

Winter is coming and we will need new tires for the car and a few other things.

It feels more and more like a grownup talking and making plans.

15 September, 2016

Early morning thoughts

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I woke up this morning, and the first thing that came into my mind was stitching.

I haven’t stitched for a very long time. It felt weird to wake up and want to pick up the floss and just stitch. Stitching is one of my favorite hobbies, but I haven’t had the time for it. I guess I’ve been focused on so many things that I forgot that I have hobbies of my own.

I think I will indulge in some stitching today. It is my day off, after all.

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I’ve also decided that I should quit Facebook for a while. In fact, I really don’t know I even bother to go there. If I really miss someone, or need to talk to someone I can always call.

There are a lot of things that are really useless to me right now. There are a lot of ways in which I waste time. Considering there are three and a half months left of the year, and time isn’t slowing down I don’t want to regret anything at the end of the year.

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I’ve also taken the decision to postpone any job change in the near future. I actually turned down the offer that was made to me. I don’t regret it, maybe the fact that I disappointed the person who recommended me. But, it is my choice no matter what and I will stay by it.

Another important decision: weekends are weekends! I will not go to work on my days off, no matter what.

 

9 September, 2016

Weekends are for fun!

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Weekends are for fun! I’ve missed going to the park to walk the dog. I think Pluto missed it as well. In fact, it’s been well over a month since we went to the park.

It was a refreshing afternoon! It was spent walking around, eating ice cream and some people (like Johnny and co) playing Pokemon Go. I guess there was something for all of us to do. Even Pluto was smiling from ear to ear.

Pluto smiling

I walked the dog and looked around in amazement how things have changed (once again). It really made me feel like I haven’t left the house in years. We didn’t have doggy company, since our friends with dogs were out of town but we managed making new friends.

Cute husky mix Pluto and a new friend

There was even a library set up in the park. They provided chairs, blankets, comfortable places to sit on and books. They had small libraries from which you could pick up books, in case you didn’t have one with you.

Cute library in the park

I also loved the fact that it wasn’t crowded. Usually, the park if full during the weekends. This time it was relatively empty. I’m guessing people are still on vacation, taking advantage of the last days of warmth.

In a way, we were taking advantage of the last days of warmth. But, I can’t wait for the cold to come. This way, we can walk Pluto without having to worry that he will overheat. We even had a few family photos taken. Some were derpy, some were cute. In fact, I can’t wait for the chance to create a new photo album.

By the way, this weekend we’re also going to the park.

4 September, 2016

A Dog’s Purpose

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I can’t believe I’m setting up reminders for movies that will be released in 2017. Yet, this is what I am doing. “A Dog’s Purpose” is the first one on the list.

Yes, we love dogs a lot. We even went out with other friends dog owners to see “The Secret Life of Pets” when it came out.

I don’t mind that the movies comes out in January. In fact, it gives me plenty of time to read the novels before we see the movie. “A Dog’s Purpose” is based on the novel with the same name, written by W. Bruce Cameron. There is also a sequel named “A Dog’s Journey” written by the same author.

A Dog's Purposea dog's journey

I realized I love books that have pets in them. I loved “Chez Stinky” by Susan C. Daffron and I am looking for her other books from the An Alpine Grove Romantic Comedy series. They are a bit hard to find, I must admit that. Buying them from abroad is not an option. So, most likely I will go for the electronic format or audio book version.

These are feel good stories, and maybe that’s why I get excited when something like this gets released.

I actually realized that most of the movies that do come out now are based on novels or comic books. In a way that is a good thing, but from experience that is not always the case. The movies turn out to be a real disaster and leave a bitter taste.

Then there are those few that break the rule, for example those movies that are as good or even better than the books (like it happened with “Stardust” or “The Princess Bride”).

The trailer for “A Dog’s Purpose” looks really nice, so I’m hoping the movie will be as lovely as possible. *fingers crossed*

3 September, 2016

A bit of luck?

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I got the call that I was waiting hoping for. I know that I shouldn’t get my hopes up. I’ve done this in the past, in similar situations, and was disappointed with the results.

I really want this to happen. Monday will be the first step towards a new possible beginning.

Until I know for sure that it will happen, I cannot move a single muscle. I cannot let others know about it either. To put it bluntly, things are not going so well at work. I guess it is frustration that has been pilling up. I want so bad to rant about it. To get it out of my system, but that will not change things nor will it make me feel any better.

The thought of working during the holidays again, doesn’t warm me either.

Being in a position of leadership, doesn’t make things easier. If things go well and if I were to quit my job, I would still be stuck there for another 45 working days. That is almost 2 months and it is not a good thing. I will need to use diplomacy in order to get out early, with both parts agreeing to it. Considering I am not the only one that wants to quit (2 people already submitted their resignation), it will be very hard to come to an agreement with them.

The understaffed part and the inability of the management to get new people, will make it hard for anyone who wants to leave. They will try to keep us for as long as possible. Maybe with a bit of luck, things will go my way.

Did I mention that I want this really bad? You could say that I’ve become desperate for a way out. Unfortunately, I cannot quit without knowing for sure that a new job is secured. Until I sign the new contract, I will be patient and do my job (even if that will kill me inside).

2 September, 2016

Reply 1988

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I finished watching Reply 1988 recently. I can honestly say, that this has been one of the best series that I’ve watched in a long time.

Reply 1988

Plot:

“In 1988, Duk-Sun (Hyeri), Jung-Hwan (Ryoo Joon-Yeol), Sun-Woo (Ko Gyung-Pyo) and Dong-Ryong (Lee Dong-Hwi) are high school students and Taek (Park Bo-Gum) is a go player. These five people have been friends since they were little kids. They all grew up together and are neighbors to this day. Their families are also very close to each other. They always hang around Taek’s room and spend time together.”

It was cute and funny, but it was also a bit sad. It made me miss my childhood friends. This is one of those series that tugs at the heart strings and makes you wish that you would’ve done things differently in life. It’s that good.

I admit, I only started watching it because it has one season (of 20 episodes). I wasn’t expecting each episode to last almost two hours. I thought it would be a nice way to fill my free time and relax. Instead, I cried my eyes out at the final episodes.

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“Time will always flow.
Everything will pass by.
Everything will age.
That might be why youth is beautiful.
It shines, blindingly bright, for just an instant.
But to it, you can never go back.
A time when many tears were shed.
The time of my youth was like that as well.”

— Sung Deok Sun – Reply 1988

I feel old now. I am 29 and I feel much older than that. All of my childhood friends have moved on and made a life of themselves. They followed their dreams and took their chances. I think this is how being left behind feels like. Sure, not all of us have the same aspirations and dreams. Some of us might be slower when taking decisions or might not be sure of what we want from life. But, it still feels sad.

Even feeling like that, I know for sure that I will re-watch Reply 1988. It is not a filler series for my free time, but a sweet reminder of times gone by. A reminder of what we had, what we are and what we can become.

“In the end, fate and destiny do not just happen out of coincidence. They are products of earnest, simple choices, that make up miraculous moments. Being resolute, making decisions without hesitation, that is what makes timing.”

— Jung-Hwan – Reply 1988

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