Halfway through January

We’re halfway through January. Nothing exciting happened. The days have passed and nothing new happened. Same old, same old.

I could go on like that for a while. I was not expecting anything dramatic to happen, nor for our life to change completely when the new year started. I was and still am fully aware that in order for something to happen, things need to be put in motion. The only way things will be put in motion is if we do something completely different.

We didn’t do anything different. We went around, doing our regular business. It is hard to change a pattern that has been going on for years. The sad reality is that the same pattern will go on for years to come. We might change a few days by doing new and different things, but at the core it will still be the same. 

It sounds depressing.

I would like to attribute this state of mind to Winter. 

It gets depressing this time of the year. It is way to cold. I dislike the fact that I have to wear so many layers of clothing. I dislike the fact we cannot go on road trips because it snowed so much, and the roads are not that good. I dislike having to stay indoors when we could be out and about. 

I am happy for one thing. I already applied for a vacation in March. A full week of freedom from work. I am not sure if they will approve it, but I am entitled to a total of 38 vacation days (because last year we barely got a few days off). All I can do now is to wait and survive work. 

Yes, it is going to be one of those days.

Having the weekend off made me feel like I was on vacation. It was such a weird feeling.

That feeling didn’t last long, anyway.

Realizing that this week I will be on the afternoon shift, killed every spark of hope in me. I will have to socialize with certain people. I will have to socialize with them for the entire week (including the upcoming team building). What’s worse is that next week, I’ll be on the afternoon shift as well. So, 12 days per total. 

I don’t think I have it in me, the patience to spend time with these people. Not for such a long period of time.

If that isn’t bad enough, just found out that someone broke into our temporary car. 

Our car (Volvo S80) is currently in service. It has been in service for the last 2 weeks. The temporary car is just a basic model (Dacia Logan), for John to get to and back from work. We’ve had the Volvo for 4 years or so, and no one broke into it. We’ve had the Logan for 2 weeks and this happened. 

They didn’t even had anything to take from it. We don’t leave anything in the car. A simple glance through the windows would’ve confirmed this. 

Did I also mention that something else broke in the house? 

Yes, it is going to be one of those days. I don’t care if it is Monday or not. It really doesn’t matter. All I know, is that our week didn’t start off that well. 

I am still gathering courage to go to work.

27 days left till the new year

With the last of our social obligations coming to an end, we can happily say that we have no more plans for the Winter Holidays.

There are 27 days left till the end of the year.

I want to say that in those 27 days I will be able to do whatever I want. But, that’s not the case.

My shifts will be a mix of afternoon and night. I will also be away on team building next weekend. On the 24th, 25th and 26th of December I will be on the night shift. I am fine with that. By working the Christmas shift, I secured New Years.

Yes, the year shall end on a positive note. I will not be working on the last weekend of the year.

I shall start 2017 in bed, most likely watching the Vienna concert. For me, that is blissfulness.

I don’t know how 2017 will be. But I do know two things: I will start the year with no debts and no obligations towards no one. No strings attached. That is a fresh new start.

With a full paycheck in my pocket, I will be able to do more things than in previous years. In fact, it will be better for the both of us. We both have jobs with a good paycheck (no matter what anyone else says). Hard work, effort, giving up on many things (including our personal time), paid off. 

I guess I am a little bit happy. It’s just that I am tired, and that happiness doesn’t come out as it should. 

Another weekend bites the dust

I can barely bring myself to type after this weekend. My hands are refusing to work as they normally should.

It is not pain that I feel, but numbness. My fingers are numb and tingly. Two days in a row of constant typing. I never want to do this again.

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This is Friday for me. I have one more night shift and then I will be able to enjoy my during the week weekend. I have no idea what I will do with my free days. My mind is telling me that a cleaning would be the best option, as the house is not looking so well. Yet, my entire body is yelling that sleep and slacking around would be best.

It is a tough decision.

I really envy Pluto and Marlanu’ in these cases. They have no moral dilemmas of their own. They just sleep, eat, play around and some more sleep.

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I can’t wait for December to come. I also want snow and pretty things to shine and sparkle on the streets. The mood for this weather is gloomy and sad. We could really use some cheering up. 

That and more sleep. In fact, I will add this to my 2017 list: Get more rest / sleep

Yes. There will be a 2017 list. I am not sure what the list will contain, but I will make one. I will make a lovely and achievable list for next year. Which, I hope I won’t have to start off by working. Chances for that to happen: 80%. 

We shall live and see.

Random afternoon thoughts

It is funny how the end of the year keeps getting closer. It feels like just a few days ago it was summer, and I was waiting for autumn to come. 

I can honestly say, I haven’t felt the last couple of months. Everything feels like a blur or work and sleepless nights. In fact, the next period will carry on in the same manner. I am trying to come to terms that the winter holidays are coming soon, and I might not get the chance to enjoy them. In fact, I should be making plans on how to make my holidays more enjoyable at work.

But then again, the holidays will come and go just like the rest of it all. The lack of plans and effort seems like the best way to go.

While work might’ve occupied most of my time and thoughts, I have made time to read and stitch. I made amazing progress with one of my stitching projects. It still has a long way to go before it will be finished, but it will be finished. Slowly, but surely. Just like everything else that has happened this year.

After 5 years I have completed my reading challenge. Not only that, but I exceeded it and still have plenty of time to spare till the end of the year. In a way, reading has been a great comfort to me. It has provided a good reason to interact with my colleagues (a safe topic of discussion that cannot be used against me). It has also been a refuge from the constant nagging in the back of my head that I am not in the best of places (as far as work is concerned). 

I have read so many wonderful books this year! 

It makes me feel sad that I didn’t think to try new things sooner. I have learned that I enjoy fantasy a great deal, that adventures that take place on hundreds of pages are the most amazing, and that books can influence so much one’s state of mind. In a way, books have been a lifesaver for me. They kept me sane, with so many things going on. 

Well, I can’t say it has been such a horrible year. After all, I accomplished more (in terms of importance) this year than any before. For me, that speaks volumes. When the new year comes, I can truly say that it will be a fresh start. I will not have any luggage from the past to hold me down. 

That is a comforting and happy thought. 

I’ve worked hard this year to fix all past mistakes, next year I should work hard on building up a good base for our future. 

 

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