Loading...I got the call that I was waiting hoping for. I know that I shouldn’t get my hopes up. I’ve done this in the past, in similar situations, and was disappointed with the results.
I really want this to happen. Monday will be the first step towards a new possible beginning.
Until I know for sure that it will happen, I cannot move a single muscle. I cannot let others know about it either. To put it bluntly, things are not going so well at work. I guess it is frustration that has been pilling up. I want so bad to rant about it. To get it out of my system, but that will not change things nor will it make me feel any better.
The thought of working during the holidays again, doesn’t warm me either.
Being in a position of leadership, doesn’t make things easier. If things go well and if I were to quit my job, I would still be stuck there for another 45 working days. That is almost 2 months and it is not a good thing. I will need to use diplomacy in order to get out early, with both parts agreeing to it. Considering I am not the only one that wants to quit (2 people already submitted their resignation), it will be very hard to come to an agreement with them.
The understaffed part and the inability of the management to get new people, will make it hard for anyone who wants to leave. They will try to keep us for as long as possible. Maybe with a bit of luck, things will go my way.
Did I mention that I want this really bad? You could say that I’ve become desperate for a way out. Unfortunately, I cannot quit without knowing for sure that a new job is secured. Until I sign the new contract, I will be patient and do my job (even if that will kill me inside).
1 February, 2017
An end to an era
cre-cre Free time, Ranting, Work Free time 0 Comments
From the recent updates at work, apparently, I suck very much. What better way to motivate someone who is already in doubt about staying or not. The worst part is, that it is not even related to my work. It is related to what others think and say about me. I cannot even fight back, and defend myself because of the “he said, she said” thing. No real proof, no real facts, just hearsay.
The others is a general term, used by our manager for feedback sessions. It is a term she loves (among many other derogative terms she keeps for agents that do not met her standards). It gives her power by dividing us, by making us mistrust one another.
So, I come back to the conclusion that it is not the work and its quality, but how much one can suck up to the boss.
That is where I really suck.
I cried over it.
Like a complete and utter dumbass, I cried.
I guess it is my mistake as well. I got comfortable knowing that I have a job. The fear of not having a job, and having a hard time getting one, two years ago, has stuck with me. I dread going over that whole process of interviews and waiting.
The best part of all of this was Johnny’s reaction. He almost chocked with his coffee, while laughing at me.
Yep, he laughed.
He was not the only one that laughed.
That hurt even more.
Here I am crying myself out, trying to figure out why and how this happened, and people are just laughing at the absurdity of it all. I really am a dumbass.
If this is considered giving up, then I give up. There is no point in going on like this. I would rather dread two, three months of job hunting than another year working in that environment. It will not be like before. The fact that I will resign my job tomorrow doesn’t mean that I will leave straight away. I will still have 45 days to enjoy their lovely company. But, that’s a good thing. It gives me two months (while I am being paid) to find another job.
All I have to do is to survive tomorrow. That is the most important thing.